Just kidding. We would never say that. But podcasters do. Like, all the time. In that upbeat, sing-songy inflection that signifies generic millennial informality. So common is this greeting that it now functions as a kind of verbal hashtag that says, I'm cool and vulnerable and relatable and just like everyone else.
But we don't want you to be just like everyone else. We're coming to you for insight, or wisdom, or entertainment. We want you to have your own way of looking at things. We want Marc Maron, Russell Brand, Katie Couric and James Altucher. The best podcast personalities sound 100% like themselves.
When podcasters and pundits revert to Podspeak, it dampens our sense of their brand. They're doing it practically unconsciously, their mouths full of meaningless words that have been strung together in the same order before, so many times. They're watering down ideas and glossing over points out of habit, in a haze of entranced laziness that keeps them regurgitating rather than creating.
Perhaps it's because they're under pressure to put out so much content that even the best among them find it difficult to stay consistently fresh. Or maybe podcast culture is so voluminous and circle-jerky that its reverberations reach higher concentrations faster than in any other media. Whatever the overarching case, if you're a podcaster or podcast guest, challenging yourself to come up with original thoughts and new ways of expressing them will go a long way toward differentiating your brand and helping you stand out in a sea of copycat content.
If you don't want to sound like everyone else, here are a few phrases to avoid...
THAT BEING SAID... It's a virtually meaningless phrase used in transitions that actually makes it tough to know if what follows is meant to be point or counterpoint. It also serves as a subtle disowning of your words because you're not saying you said it, you're saying it's being said. By whom? You.
IN THAT SENSE... It's more the misuse of this phrase than the overuse that urks the listener. Unless you really are distinguishing between two senses of an idea, this literally means nothing. And yet, pundits will tack it onto a long-ass bloviation on some political issue, and you can't even tell if they're trying to qualify their point or strengthen it. Either way, that's not what this phrase does.
I WOULD SAY... Yeah, you would say, because you are saying. So just say.
GOES TO... Maybe it's a little nit-picky to expect podcasters and pundits to avoid common point-making mechanisms, seeing as it's their job to make points. But this one is just so common, and even when it's used awkwardly, it's passed off as elegant and smart. Which, originally, it was. See, that's the thing with clichés. They were cool before everyone started saying them.
DIVISIVE... This one is for sure Trump's fault, but why play into his grimy hands? Yes, we are a divided nation. Yes, some of the people in power are deliberately trying to divide us so they can gain more power over us. This is all painfully obvious, so there's no need to point it out. And a moratorium on this word would make the debate on how to pronounce it a moot point. (P.S. It's div-EYE-sive.)
IF THAT MAKES SENSE... This is one of those ones like "Sorry but..." and "I just..." that, upon its omission, strengthens arguments. It's an afterthought infused with insecurity, signifying mimsy. If it doesn't make sense, don't say it. If you said something and realized it might sound convoluted, just play it off. We can decide for ourselves if your point is legit.
AT THE END OF THE DAY... We might not even reach the end of the day because we are all going to murder ourselves if we hear this shit one more time. In fact, it makes us wish for the swift coming of the End of Days.